Hello everyone!
Just wanted to give you a quick update during the day regarding my status.
I'm feeling better but I'm not yet 100%. I've taken a few more doses of my aqua friend Imodium AD and I've made certain to stay hydrated but my belly is still burbling like a brook every now and then.
The staff here has been really kind and there must've been some sort of announcement because everyone's asking how I feel. I no longer feel guilty. I appreciate their concern.
I didn't make it on the hike today but I headed to the gym to test the waters a bit. I was really worried that I had lost my fitness during my sick break from FR and while it may have dimmed a tiny bit, it's not gone thankfully. :)
In fact I was really proud today because I did something I've never been able to do! After I did 30 minutes on the Nustep recumbent elliptical, I managed to do 30 minutes on a regular old elliptical machine!!! It was hard but I pushed through and I think I might have been able to keep going if I didn't have to stop for breakfast. 'P,' you know how I've always had a mental block against the durn machine! For years I had never been able to do more than 5 minutes at one time on the elliptical... even when I was thinner. I had worked my way up to 10 minutes, then 15, then 20 minutes during my time here at FR and today even with a broken belly, I did 30 minutes!! Yay!! I have an open gym later today so I think I'm going to do some weights and attempt my couch to 5k program though to be honest, I don't know how that's going to feel on my stomach. I'll give it a try though!
I ate just a bit of my breakfast. Today it was an english muffin with a smoothie but I opted out of that and had my old standard cereal with a banana. After a few bites, my belly wasn't reacting too well. So I stopped eating. I'll eat a bit more at lunch and see if I can handle that. (really random but I just had an extreme sense of deja vu... like I had dreamed about FR before I ever came here. Weird)
So I've made a decision regarding my stay here at FR. Since everyone has stressed to me the importance of 'ME' and 'MY' experience here, I've decided that I'm going to follow the program that they have set up here on my terms. My ultimate goal is to leave FR a few pounds lighter but fit enough to handle a workout regime at home and wiser about my choices regarding food and portion control. I want to lose at least 50 pounds if not more and that's going to take time. Months and possibly even a year or more in fact. I know this and I accept this and I will do my darnedest to make it happen.
The schedule here is ridiculously rigorous. Add the social factor in and it was causing me a lot of stress. I'm naturally a bubbly and social person but I've been a bit washed out personality wise since I've been here. This was my first time completely alone and away from home and this crazy regime on my body had me reeling. I think my getting sick was the break that my body was telling me I needed mentally and physically. On one of my days off here, I found a Barnes & Noble and I stayed there from opening to closing and just read and I really enjoyed myself. Being here makes me really value the alone time that I need to be centered and balanced.
Anyhow! So I will be going to some of my classes but not all of them. My first week here I burned myself out. I missed just the one class and I felt horribly guilty. My second week here my body got sick and my will just gave up. I really felt horrible and I wanted to just hide away from everything.
Well, I'm back... but on my terms. I'm going to push my body because I want to get stronger. I'm going to push myself because I'm happy that I'm making my family and friends proud. However, I'm not going to push myself out of wack just for the sake of this schedule or a t-shirt. I value my happiness and I value my sanity. I value myself.
With that said I just want to say that I really enjoy my solo gym jaunts. I also really enjoy the classes where I can be quiet and just focus on breathing, be it something calm like stretch or something intense where I'm trying to catch my breath like cardio intervals.
I'll update later on the rest of my day but I think my drive is back. ;) Now as long as my belly behaves...
**Update**
After my solo gym jaunt and breakfast, I headed towards stretch. No matter who teaches it, it's always a great class. I really hope that I'm getting more flexible but this is definitely a class that I'll want to try to find once I get home. I'm not flexible at all but I hope to be! It's just so nice and relaxing and is perfect after working out.
I avoided all pool classes today because my stomach is still sensitive and I attended the free weight workshop last week so afterwards I headed towards lunch. Once again, I could only eat a little bit before my stomach started acting up. Lunch was a butternut squash soup with what they called a rainbow sammie. It's just a sandwich with a lot of different veggies in it. I just had the squash soup and a slice of wheat toast to be easy on the belly.
After lunch we had a calorie challenge and a cooking demo lecture. Chef Cameron always makes it all look so easy! I can't wait to get home to try some of these recipes out. :) After the demo, there was a pool class and cardio intervals. Since I was skipping the pool classes today, I headed up to my room to take a quick nap. Slept through my alarm but thankfully my roomie woke me up in time for Total Toning. Speaking of which, I'm really loving my new roomie. My last two roomies have been really great. 'K' is a bundle of happy positive energy and I really hope that they let us stay together for my last two weeks here. :)
Total toning with Ann-Marie was great. A difficult class but not impossible. She's so smiley too. After TT, I had dinner but I could only have a few bites again. I'm guessing that I'm going to be ravenous tomorrow. Good thing that we're calorie controlled here!
So instead of watching The Biggest Loser downstairs with everyone, I opted to come up to my room to watch it a bit. Going to rest soon and looking forward to tomorrow!
Calories burned today: 3087
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am so happy you've been writing about those darn t-shirts! I can just see myself needing a nap so bad, but dragging myself to a class just for the t-shirt. YOU ARE SO RIGHT! Go and buy the t-shirt from the gift shop! Thanks for putting things into perspective!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope your stomach is back to normal soon. Do you think it's because of the diet change? Or do you think it's a bug? I have IBS and I worry about what I'm in for! I'm bringing lots of Beano and Immodium! I'm worried about the hikes too, because I heard that only 2 of the hikes have port-a-potties! I may need to talk to someone at FR about my worries.
Thanks for your blogs! I look forward to them each day! :)
I think that the T Shirt is a good symbol of giving 100 % and applying yourself in your own way. You don't have to do 100 % at all the class - just have to to try and show up! Doing a program on your own terms is what you have done at home and you know where that has gotten you. You don't seem to be in the right frame of mind for the challenge that FR presents and that's sad seeing that you have invested the time and the money. Hopefully you can get your drive - I was gonna say back, but it seems like you've made a lot of excuses to not give it your all. The side trip with the burger was very dissapointing to see! Just saying how i'm seeing it. Good luck on your journey.
ReplyDeleteHey you two,
ReplyDeleteI don't think the stomach problem is to do with the food, I've been fine on it so far. :) There are people here who have been going smoothly and some who have been constipated and bloated, I think it just depends on your body. For me, I'm pretty sure that I caught a bug, especially since I was feverish earlier on in the week. Yes, only a few of the hikes have bathrooms so prepare accordingly. Many people have had to go behind bushes if the need has hit them.
The T-shirt is a symbol, merely that. Everyone has their own personal journey. In fact, I missed just one class my first week and there were others who missed several classes but still received a t-shirt. I didn't receive one because I wasn't present for the graduation ceremony. Unlike some others, I didn't go ask Trevor for a shirt because I'm not that sort of person.
There are also a lot of people who because of their extreme health problems and their weight barely go to classes at all. Instead they do what they can at their own pace. Would you say that they're not applying themselves/have any drive or are not in the right frame of mind? They're doing what they can and are out of their comfort zones. I'm doing what I can and am also out of my comfort zone and I and my family and friends are proud of me for that.
Also, doing what I can do here on my own terms has been positive for me. At home I literally did nothing. I was eating far too much and I was barely even walking. So my journey has been progressing. Perhaps not at the rate of some others but for those who know me, I'm doing a lot better. Also, when I go to my classes, I do give it my best. I would rather take some time to rest for my next class than go to a class and half ass it for the entire day. If you've read my entire blog, I was knocked out for a few days due to illness and injury. So while I appreciate your criticism, you simply don't know me well enough to judge me. :)
Your burger comment made me laugh. I don't even eat fast food at home and since I've never been on the West Coast, hell if I'm not going to try something I've always been curious about. If you're looking for someone who is going to be perfect and positive and super cheery/fake on their journey, that person is not me.
It's people who judge others that make others and themselves so miserable in life. As others and I have said... Judge and focus on yourself. No one else has the right and background knowledge to do that for you. :)
Anon # 2, you are a perfect example of negativity personified. Zajiue writes a post about how she found her will again and how she's positive again after being sick and you just crapped all over her. Who are you to judge and gauge her personal victories? You really should be ashamed of yourself.
ReplyDeleteZajiue, good for you honey. You do what you can do and don't listen to anyone else. Is she you? Does she know what you're going thru? Only you know that!!! I'm glad you took the high road and didn't stoop to her level in your response. Your blog has been the most raw and honest I've read so far. Keep going!!!
Anon #2, I really hope that you don't post anything again. If you can't be positive and helpful, don't say anything at all. Didn't your mother teach you that growing up???
ReplyDeleteYou said you don't have to give 100% in every class, just show up?? Well, gee, with that attitude, can't I say the same thing about you? You AREN'T giving 100% either then, if you're just showing up, Anon #2!
Zajiue, you are doing so well. You are changing your life for the better. Don't let anyone else judge your progress. (And from your mature response, I'd say you aren't, so that's good!) I think if someone just goes to FR and stays on a 1200-calorie diet, they are doing better than if they'd just stayed home! And you are doing WAY more than that. I hope I can be as successful as you when I go!!!! (((HUG)))
From Anon #1 (Erin)
I know I keep saying this, but I'm really proud of you. 30 minutes on the elipitical is awesome!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletehahaha...Anon#2 by seeing your post that I can say you're just jealous and fake cause you just can't stand somebody else is honest than you and you have to fake that you're better by saying this, oh no,you have to show that you really is good enough to judge orther people or you just a" FAKE" hidding behind the screen by say that zajiue's honesty is not a good thing,,,,,,,,you're the one I feel sorry for.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support everyone, I really sincerely appreciate it. :) I feel stronger and better now that I'm over my owwies. Keep on keeping on!!
ReplyDelete